Reparenting Yourself: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Begin
By Tonia & Jennifer | Deep Roots Wellness Blog
“This is where the inner work meets the real world.”
If you've ever found yourself saying, “I’ll never say that to my kids,” only to later hear those very words fly out of your mouth—welcome. You're in the right place.
At Deep Roots Wellness, we recently recorded an episode on one of the most foundational pieces of healing work we’ve ever done: reparenting ourselves. And we’re not going to lie—it’s not always easy. But it is some of the most transformative inner work you can do, especially if you're a parent or want to break free from the emotional patterns that no longer serve you.
So, what exactly is reparenting—and why does it matter so much?
What Is Reparenting?
Reparenting is the process of giving yourself the things you didn’t receive as a child—emotionally, mentally, sometimes even physically. It's about becoming a safe, nurturing, emotionally intelligent caregiver to your own inner child.
If that sounds abstract, think about it like this:
Were you taught that crying was weak? Reparenting says, “Your feelings are valid.”
Did you grow up in a household where achievement was praised, but your worth wasn’t affirmed? Reparenting says, “You are enough just as you are.”
Were boundaries ignored, love made conditional, or mistakes met with shame? Reparenting says, “Let’s build something different now.”
And no—it’s not about blaming your parents. It’s about acknowledging what was missing and choosing to respond to those gaps with compassion and intention.
Why Reparenting Matters
If we don’t reparent ourselves, we repeat the cycles we were raised with—whether we mean to or not. It’s not just about healing your past. It’s about shaping your future.
Old beliefs and automatic responses get wired into us early on. So when we yell, shut down, people-please, overwork, or disconnect emotionally, we’re often reenacting what we saw and experienced growing up.
But here’s the beautiful part: once we see the patterns, we get to change them.
When we begin reparenting, we create the opportunity to:
Show up more grounded and present in our relationships
Parent our children with emotional intelligence instead of fear
Cultivate self-worth that isn’t tied to performance or perfection
Break generational cycles of shame, criticism, and emotional suppression
How to Start Reparenting Yourself
Reparenting isn’t a one-and-done fix—it’s a lifelong relationship with yourself. But it can begin with a few powerful steps:
1. Get Curious About Your Patterns
Ask yourself:
What messages did I receive about emotions, love, success, rest, or self-worth?
Are those messages serving me now?
Awareness is the beginning of change.
2. Offer Yourself What Was Missing
If you needed more affirmation, practice daily self-validation.
If you were taught to hide your emotions, give yourself space to feel them safely.
If you lacked boundaries, begin honoring your own needs.
3. Speak to Yourself Like You Would a Child
Seriously. Would you tell a child, “You’re so lazy,” or “You’ll never get it right”? Then why say that to yourself?
Your inner child is listening. And they need kindness, not criticism.
4. Practice Self-Compassion Over Perfection
This isn’t about becoming the perfect healed version of yourself. It’s about choosing love, patience, and grace—over and over again.
Final Thoughts: You Can Break the Cycle
If this is hitting close to home, take a deep breath. You're not behind. You’re just waking up to what your soul has always known:
You are worthy of healing. You are capable of change. And it’s not too late to become the parent you needed—starting with yourself.
Want to dive deeper? Check out our latest podcast episode, “Reparenting Ourselves – Healing the Inner Child & Breaking Cycles,” where we share our personal stories, tools that have helped us, and why this work has changed everything in our own lives.
Because when you reparent yourself, you don’t just heal your past—you transform your future.
With love,
Tonia & Jennifer
Deep Roots Wellness